Conscious Story

To Be Conscious

The one thing that my father always told me was that I should always be conscious of people’s thoughts, ideas, and feelings. On a side note, he told me to also always be conscious of my surroundings because I never knew what was going to happen. I always thought about this after my father died; I never used to be aware of anything, half the time I was not even awake. When he died, everything became clear as daylight. I began to think harder than ever before, maybe children were not the only ones who could not be conscious of others. I never cared about anyone or what was on their mind. I just did what I wanted to do, which would get me in trouble sometimes.

Before my father died, I remembered that the last thing I said to him was not very conscious of his feelings. I barged out of he room at that point and never saw him again. I felt terrible afterwards and thought that I should go and see him. He was always conscious of my feelings, and me I think that I could do the same for him. Before I knew it he was dead, committed suicide right before my very eyes. He never cared about anyone as much as he did me. When they found him hanging outside his apartment window, I could not bare it any longer.

To this day I try to tell my own kids that the best thing that you can do is to be conscious of others. I try not to be hypocritical, but sometimes I go back to those old ways; the ways where I could not control what I say. I feel something is wrong with me and that I should see a doctor. I know that with my kids alongside me, I can be a changed man. My father died because of me, I did not want my kids to know that. I never did tell them what had happened, the true story would never come out of me. It always changed, either in a car crash or murdered, but never me. The one thing my kids would always say to their friends is, “The one thing that my father always tells me is that I should always be conscious of people’s thoughts, ideas, and feelings”. I know I had done my job and that my father would be prouder than ever if he were still here.